Wednesday 4 September 2013

Confessions and remorse of parody account operator


Hi

My name is not important here, but I’m the guy behind the twitter parody account @SheikhKhalifaPM.

I’m here to confess.

I have been posting jibes, insults, wisecracks and derisive comments aimed specifically at his highness Prince Khalifa bin Salman AlKhalifa, the prime minister of the Kingdom of Bahrain, and generally about the royal AlKhalifa family for over two and a half years now.

After having two of my iReport articles removed and my ShKhalifaPM account deactivated by CNN (I assume at the behest of those who may have felt slighted or targeted for their support of the royal family) I was forced to reflect on my actions.

I feel sincerely remorseful for what I have been doing. My rude, often nonsensical ramblings were offensive to those in leadership positions who are doing their best to resolve the current issues and aim to provide a bright future for all the citizens of Bahrain.

I now know I was wrong. And I am sorry.

I realised I was not adding constructively to the debate on this issue, an issue that has a deep impact on the lives of so many citizens as well as other inhabitants of the kingdom. This was childish of me.

So, as a way of paying penance for my wrongs, although a small gesture and unlikely to properly erase the pain I’ve caused to many people, I would like to take back many of my worst comments.

Starting with the iReport ones that got me to this apology in the first place:

* I regret saying the PM’s face “looks like the wrinkled backside of a 100 year old donkey who’s been sitting in a pool of warm soapy water for 3 days”. This is plainly untrue.

* I regret saying that anyone not loyal to him may “need a long stay at Hotel AlKhalifa for a loyalty calibration” which is a thinly disguised suggestion that opposition members are jailed and tortured in Bahrain. This has simply never happened.

* I was also wrong to imply that the PM thinks “top quality whisky doesn't drink itself” and thus suggesting he is an alcoholic. I have no way of knowing the truth about this so I should not have speculated to begin with.

* I was very wrong to suggest the PM feels this way in relation to protestors “I would like to burn them on a pyre fuelled by copies of the BICI report” This was puerile and badly thought out by me. Not many copies of BICI were printed, most of them were on USB memory sticks in electronic PDF format. So not easily combustible.  Again, factually, I was wrong.

All the above insults, and more, that I now regret, can be read here:

* Next, I’m also sorry for changing the lyrics to the 80s song “Hello”, as an ode from torturers to opposition members, to say things like

I've been alone with you
Inside your cell
And in my dreams, I've cracked my whips
a thousand times
Sometimes you see us gas
inside your door!

See the rest of this shameful ode here


* I also regret making fun of the serious steps taken to resolve the crisis in Bahrain through the national dialogue process. I’m sorry I published this fake agenda:


* Not happy with this depravity, I then played on the notion that the government of Bahrain uses Iran as their scapegoat. This was unfair and I regret I ever made this flowchart


* I wish I had stopped there. But this sickness made me spew out even more hate. I feel I hit rock bottom when I released a video on Youtube about Adolf Hitler, representing utter oppression and total evil, where he is upset that Khalifa bin Salman,  unelected PM , is the longest serving PM in the world. I apologise for this slur on the PM’s reputation. Being unelected is not a problem if the person is loved. Which the PM is. So what.

See the deplorable video, here in English


or in Arabic if you like


* But oh no. I still couldn’t stop there. I made more Hitler parodies: topics like Sheikh Nasser’s stupidity, denying entry visas to reporters, jailing of Zainab AlKhawaja (two videos, I know, I’m sick, even though she’s blocked me on twitter) and the siege of Aleker. All of my disloyal performances can be seen here


* And when I felt less evil, I’d go and photoshop photos of his highness and the rest of his crew:

* And of course to top off this sad, disgusting display of no class or loyalty, there are all those tweets I’ve been sending out daily for 2 ½ years:


Again, I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me Bahrain.

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