It is clear from the number of videos Hitler has appeared in
criticising Bahrain’s PM (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKqlTYAi0IRg47M_FBjDW-w/videos)
That Adolf Hitler really hates HRH Prince Khalifa. So, to settle the score,
here is a table comparing and contrasting the two leaders:
Bahrain: The truth behind the wise leadership and other lies
Thursday 29 May 2014
Sunday 6 April 2014
Royal cables: A guide for the uninitiated
I know it can be very difficult to keep track of royal
cables. Who thanked who, when, for what etc etc...
So to make life easier for all loyal citizens, here is my
guide, based on the example of what happened after the 2014 #Bahrain #F1 race:
1) HRH Khalifa cables Hamad to congratulate him on F1 success. There is no explanation why he did this, since Hamad doesn't do anything.
2) Prompted by (1), Hamad sends a cable of congratulations to
the CP on F1 Success. CP is even more perplexed. He thinks his dad must have
confused him with race winner Lewis Hamilton, who actually did something.
3) However, excited by getting cable (1), Hamad immediately
cables HRH Khalifa to say thanks. Still no one is sure why Hamad deserved the
original congratulations.
4) As (3) is going on, the CP sends Hamad a cable of thanks
for (2). Because even though he didn't do anything to deserve congratulations, he
knows you can’t be rude to your dad.
5) So, HRH Khalifa having been out of action since (1),
sends a cable of congratulations to the CP. Undeserving, as he thinks, the CP
is of any actual praise.
6) Needless to say, the CP quickly cables HRH Khalifa back
with a thank you. Doesn't want to risk the old man holding a grudge against him.
No one wants a repeat of the mess they got into after of 2011 Pearl Roundabout
debacle.
7) Finally, hearing about (1) to (6) and feeling very left out,
Speaker Al Dhahrani sends cables to anyone and everyone.
Wednesday 2 April 2014
John Lennon's "Imagine" as done by HRH Khalifa
Imagine there is no Shiia
|
It's easy if they die
|
No demands made of us
|
Above us no Chopper Guy
|
Imagine all the Sunnah
|
Loving the Royalty
|
Imagine there's no villages
|
No need for curfews
|
Nothing to teargas or aim for
|
And no opposition, too
|
Hail all loyal people
|
Living life in Rifaa
|
You may say I'm a stealer
|
But I'm not the only one
|
I hope that someday none of us
Will have to leave this throne |
Imagine no prosecutions
|
No tunnels to I-ran
No paying a dinar for a harbor or a Jawad store to ban |
Imagine all of Muharraq
|
Shiia not allowed to build
|
You may say I'm a stealer
|
and my wisdom only a con
I hope someday Al-Khalifas Will take your money and run |
Tuesday 31 December 2013
State of the nation: Bahrain 2013
Dear nation;
I've decided to gift you this update on the
state of our nation at the end of 2013. Normally I don't do this, because
you're not worth the time and effort. But after my heavy Christmas
celebrations, I've run out of Johnnie Walker and as I'm still waiting for
Sheikh Nasser to come back from The Ritz-Carlton with another case
of whiskey, I decided to put pen to paper for your benefit.
NB: I won't mention onions or any onion
related news in this update.
Firstly, me.
Going by the awards I've won and the number of times other AlKhalifa
have hailed me for my vision, hard work and restraint in not stealing
absolutely everything that I could have stolen, my assessment is I've had a
very good year. Right up there with Mandela, Gandhi or King Abdullah.
My main achievement, and there have been many,
too many to actually list here, is that I have made sure there is no sectarian
divide anymore. Everyone in Bahrain is treated equally, from the most
privileged loyal Sunni families to the poorest, neglected Shiia terrorists in
their dilapidated third-world villages.
Secondly, you, the so called citizens.
Sadly the news is not so good for you, people.
You let us down. Here are just a few highlights of how terrible you have been this
year:
There was the time you brought shame on the
country, and me, by almost drowning to death after a little rain. Is it too
much to ask of you to take precautionary steps to be better prepared next year?
Look at Hamad for example, he bought a yacht for exactly this reason. That and
also to host Lebanese singers so they can't escape when he gets all handsy and rapey.
Then there was the national dialogue. We're up to session number 5,623
and still no resolution found for this Shiia-made crisis. It's exactly this
sort of lack of progress or development that makes me convinced that the
leadership of this country is best left in the hands of the royal AlKhalifa
family. Lack of progress or development is what we do best.
We released our latest and most honourable report
on the progress of the BICI report. Of course I didn't get the time to read it,
or, to be honest, the actual BICI report, but none the less your reaction,
filled with scepticism and derision at our reforms, was the most disappointing aspect
to me. It was as if the report lacked substance. So, as a solution I propose the
following: If you feel the follow up report doesn’t have enough hailing or praising
statements, then just let us know and we'll fix that for next year's report.
You also brought shame on us by heading to
an empty block of land to pray in a non-existent Barbaghi mosque. If it’s not
there, then we’ve demolished it. Besides, pretending it’s there is a bit like
claiming that a foreign force is interfering in your affairs but you don’t have
evidence you can show or touch as proof. Pathetic.
You also lost my respect when you mistook
me telling my torturer friends that the law won’t apply to them. To quote me, accurately,
and in context like that was unfair. BTW that reminds me I must ban all cameras
and recording devices from future 6abala gatherings.
And finally when I rightly won the “Statesman
Award” from Asian Business Leadership Forum, I showed how modesty and honest
hard work can get you accolades. I didn’t see anyone else win anything for
Bahrain. Your laziness will wreck our island paradise. Please try harder. I won’t
be around forever, though it does feel like it.
Now, a quick word on shameful international
agencies:
For saying that certain corrupt business people,
some of them our beloved expats, have implicated me in approving bribes to do
with the Alba bribery fiasco. Don’t these people understand that what happens
in a bribe-exchange stays in a bribe-exchange? Thankfully this investigation
had the same fate as all our investigations into police shootings and killings of
civilians. So we can all rest easy.
Shame on international media for making out
that Iran and the USA are now able to communicate reasonably about their
differences without violence or name calling. This, to my disappointment, discredited
my claim that you cannot reason with the Shiia as they’re all blood-hungry
terrorists.
On the government side, we did everything perfectly.
Need I remind you of how recently our navy skilfully
captured a weapons cache of Iranian-made explosives, Syrian bomb detonators,
Kalashnikovs, C-4 explosives, Claymores, hand grenades, a PK machine gun
? It reminds me of a certain terrorist farm we identified just a few years ago:
http://www.alwasatnews.com/mobile/news-217311.html
Finally, special thanks to Sameera Rajab.
She’s my best minister of state, or would be the best if I had no other
ministers of state. I especially appreciated her attributing a few Quranic verses
to Arab sayings. https://twitter.com/NawalAtteya/status/416887945111433216
What’s the difference anyway, “Mi casa es su
casa” as the Arab saying goes.
I hope 2014 ends the same way 2013 did for
me: Like Teflon. No scandals stick.
Sunday 22 December 2013
Bahrain – “though small in size, great with the ladies” A reply to another vacuous article on Khalifa Bin Salman (see the rubbish here http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1069864)
Every December since 1971,
the PM has felt as if the entire country celebrates his greatness, and in December
2014, he will celebrate his thousands year as PM of Bahrain, give or take a few
years. He’s had his fair share of ups and downs, but his experiences have left him
fiercely loyal to himself. His feeling for Bahrain is summed up in a few
eloquent words said by himself, Prime Minister, HRH Shaikh Khalifa bin Salman
Al Khalifa "though small in size, we are entirely above the law".
Bahrain may not be the biggest, the most honest or the least criminal country in the world – but most of you who live here are routinely robbed by him, and he doesn't care what your religion is; Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, Buddism, Sikh, Bahai, Judaism or other. Money is money. To go with all this tolerance and warmth which he lacks, over the last three years, international media has systematically exposed his family as the corrupt little demigods they are. Happily, well-known media houses around the globe have taken it upon themselves to air all his dirty laundry, and in all respects show the Al-Khalifa family to be ruthless criminals. To add credibility to their reports, they write the truth in plain words which lacks the obfuscation these ruthless tyrants so adore.
A minuscule part of this society called for the continuation of Al-Khalifa tribal rule, the oppression of an entire sect while mouthing baseless allegations of terrorism. What the west is slow in exposing are these terrorists who idolize Saudi radicals, because they are blinded by the thirst for oil. Some claim NGOs such as Bahrain Centre for Human Rights (BCHR), Bahrain Youth Society for Human Rights (BYCHR) and Bahrain Watch to name a few survive on undeclared funding, even if this were so, it would be dwarfed by what the Al-Khalifa thievery has yielded that tribe over its long and inglorious history in Bahrain. Add to that the brutal force used by its police on residents to force them into submission.
Meanwhile, western governments sympathize with criminal Al-Khalifa and encourage business whilst paying lip-service to Human Rights issues, thus alienating all right-minded people. Self exiled activists such Saeed Alshehabi, Said Yousif, Ali Abdulemam and Abdul Raouf Alsheyab are just four people the government would love to jail. Supporters of the regime claim that they are “some of who have been convicted of terrorism” but only a fool would give any credence to a judicial system installed by the ruling family for no other purpose other than to serve and protect its own interests.
The government of Bahrain provides free housing, health and education for each citizen – this is only right and fair given the natural recourse underpinning the economy belong to the whole of the nation, not just the one family. BUT open your mouth to complain about or expose the hypocrisy and unjust practices of the government, and the only house you’ll get for free is a jail cell in Dry Dock, with a serve of regular beatings thrown in.
Bahrain may not be the biggest, the most honest or the least criminal country in the world – but most of you who live here are routinely robbed by him, and he doesn't care what your religion is; Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, Buddism, Sikh, Bahai, Judaism or other. Money is money. To go with all this tolerance and warmth which he lacks, over the last three years, international media has systematically exposed his family as the corrupt little demigods they are. Happily, well-known media houses around the globe have taken it upon themselves to air all his dirty laundry, and in all respects show the Al-Khalifa family to be ruthless criminals. To add credibility to their reports, they write the truth in plain words which lacks the obfuscation these ruthless tyrants so adore.
A minuscule part of this society called for the continuation of Al-Khalifa tribal rule, the oppression of an entire sect while mouthing baseless allegations of terrorism. What the west is slow in exposing are these terrorists who idolize Saudi radicals, because they are blinded by the thirst for oil. Some claim NGOs such as Bahrain Centre for Human Rights (BCHR), Bahrain Youth Society for Human Rights (BYCHR) and Bahrain Watch to name a few survive on undeclared funding, even if this were so, it would be dwarfed by what the Al-Khalifa thievery has yielded that tribe over its long and inglorious history in Bahrain. Add to that the brutal force used by its police on residents to force them into submission.
Meanwhile, western governments sympathize with criminal Al-Khalifa and encourage business whilst paying lip-service to Human Rights issues, thus alienating all right-minded people. Self exiled activists such Saeed Alshehabi, Said Yousif, Ali Abdulemam and Abdul Raouf Alsheyab are just four people the government would love to jail. Supporters of the regime claim that they are “some of who have been convicted of terrorism” but only a fool would give any credence to a judicial system installed by the ruling family for no other purpose other than to serve and protect its own interests.
The government of Bahrain provides free housing, health and education for each citizen – this is only right and fair given the natural recourse underpinning the economy belong to the whole of the nation, not just the one family. BUT open your mouth to complain about or expose the hypocrisy and unjust practices of the government, and the only house you’ll get for free is a jail cell in Dry Dock, with a serve of regular beatings thrown in.
The PM has been in power for over 40 years, yet his main legacy is a lot of empty words and a treasure chest full of broken promises, self-congratulatory awards and the people’s rightful wealth.
Take as an example these words of his, on making the security
pact with Saudi Arabia in 1981 “I see the
security pact as a frame on a nice picture. We must protect this nice picture
and put security around it to protect our development. Before, as we developed
ourselves from nothing, security was in the hearts of the people. Now we feel
that we must protect ourselves from the outside, so we must put a frame around
– a strong frame – to allow us to continue what we have been working on for
many years”.
The nice picture alluded to is the opulence
of and privileged life he and the rest of the Al-Khalifa clan live in. The
frame is clearly the brutal, sometimes lethal, force used to quell any
resistance to the status of the mighty Al-Khalifas. The peace and stability is
the peace and stability needed to continue their criminal ways in sucking the
wealth out of the country and its people without remorse or interruption.
As we approach the third year of ongoing
disruption perhaps it is time to take on the Prime Minister’s role in the mess
that Bahrain finds itself now. Is giving up the power he’s held onto for such
an astonishingly long time worth the lives that have been ruined, on both sides
of this toxic divide? Knowing what I know of him, I have little doubt that any
price, no matter how high, but paid by others, is worth it to him.
The contempt he feels for the people exposing his “wise rule” as nothing
more than glorified highway robbery is palpable in the many statements he makes
about “security”, “legitimate leadership” and of course all his beacons of
human rights he seemingly maintains out of the goodness of his heart.
Recently, Obama signed a deal with Iran, Cameron
visited China and Biden went to Japan – it’s time for those blinded by loyalty
in Bahrain to see that the world is moving on, they can either come along for
the ride or stay stagnant and wallow in their wild claims that Bahrain’s misery
is a result of some agenda of the world’s super powers, and not the natural
side-effect of power concentrated in the hand of a few, to the detriment of the
many.
Lets' not forget that Shaikh Khalifa in 1981 said, “American foreign policy is not new to us. We have good relations with the US, and so we know US foreign policy. We cannot be the one, out of so many countries, to say the US is the reason for this or that. But I must say that the US is a country that could participate in bringing peace in the region. I am sure the US has a role to play to maintain peace in the region”... I say to old man Khalifa: You have the biggest role in bringing peace; in so much as you have been the biggest obstacle to it in Bahrain. Move on Khalfo.
In December 2013 after being congratulated for being presented with the Statesman Award in the Asian Leadership Forum (one of tens of meaningless international accolades), the Prime Minister of Bahrain continued to indulge in self-congratulatory behaviour, which, to add salt to the wound, is entirely without merit, just like all his appointments and promotions.
Lets' not forget that Shaikh Khalifa in 1981 said, “American foreign policy is not new to us. We have good relations with the US, and so we know US foreign policy. We cannot be the one, out of so many countries, to say the US is the reason for this or that. But I must say that the US is a country that could participate in bringing peace in the region. I am sure the US has a role to play to maintain peace in the region”... I say to old man Khalifa: You have the biggest role in bringing peace; in so much as you have been the biggest obstacle to it in Bahrain. Move on Khalfo.
In December 2013 after being congratulated for being presented with the Statesman Award in the Asian Leadership Forum (one of tens of meaningless international accolades), the Prime Minister of Bahrain continued to indulge in self-congratulatory behaviour, which, to add salt to the wound, is entirely without merit, just like all his appointments and promotions.
As we enter a new era, I hope the people of
Bahrain will get a better deal than the one given to them by these rotten
pirates of the seas. God knows they've earned it.
Tuesday 8 October 2013
My failed attempt to add a new definition for "Anwar" on http://www.urbandictionary.com
Submission under review
Your entry is under review by editors.
Anwar
To do an "Anwar" is to state or publish a story that is so fake that a Ret. General of US army feels compelled to make a statement that he's been misrepresented and the whole story is a concoction.
In October 2013,Anwar Abdulrahman, editor-in-chief of Bahrain's Akhbar al-Khaleej and its English-language sister paper Gulf Daily News, made up a story about former Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Hugh Shelton. Every one involved (US embassy, the general himself..) have denied it, other than the guy who made it up, Anwar. He stands by it.
In October 2013,Anwar Abdulrahman, editor-in-chief of Bahrain's Akhbar al-Khaleej and its English-language sister paper Gulf Daily News, made up a story about former Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Hugh Shelton. Every one involved (US embassy, the general himself..) have denied it, other than the guy who made it up, Anwar. He stands by it.
"I can't believe James just did an Anwar. Everyone knows Jenny never said she liked him"
John: Hey, did you hear Putin forced the Russian media to publish lies?
Mark: What? They did an Anwar!!
John: Hey, did you hear Putin forced the Russian media to publish lies?
Mark: What? They did an Anwar!!
by
The Sheikh, PM
on
Oct 7, 2013
tags:
Bahrain, Lie, Propaganda, Bad Journalism, Fake, Making shit up, No Integrity
©1999-2013 Urban Dictionary®
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Wednesday 4 September 2013
Confessions and remorse of parody account operator
Hi
My
name is not important here, but I’m the guy behind the twitter parody account
@SheikhKhalifaPM.
I’m
here to confess.
I
have been posting jibes, insults, wisecracks and derisive comments aimed
specifically at his highness Prince Khalifa bin Salman AlKhalifa, the prime
minister of the Kingdom of Bahrain, and generally about the royal AlKhalifa
family for over two and a half years now.
After
having two of my iReport articles removed and my ShKhalifaPM account
deactivated by CNN (I assume at the behest of those who may have felt slighted
or targeted for their support of the royal family) I was forced to reflect on
my actions.
I
feel sincerely remorseful for what I have been doing. My rude, often
nonsensical ramblings were offensive to those in leadership positions who are
doing their best to resolve the current issues and aim to provide a bright
future for all the citizens of Bahrain.
I
now know I was wrong. And I am sorry.
I
realised I was not adding constructively to the debate on this issue, an issue
that has a deep impact on the lives of so many citizens as well as other
inhabitants of the kingdom. This was childish of me.
So,
as a way of paying penance for my wrongs, although a small gesture and unlikely
to properly erase the pain I’ve caused to many people, I would like to take
back many of my worst comments.
Starting
with the iReport ones that got me to this apology in the first place:
*
I regret saying the PM’s face “looks like the wrinkled backside of a 100 year
old donkey who’s been sitting in a pool of warm soapy water for 3 days”. This
is plainly untrue.
*
I regret saying that anyone not loyal to him may “need a long stay at Hotel
AlKhalifa for a loyalty calibration” which is a thinly disguised suggestion
that opposition members are jailed and tortured in Bahrain. This has simply
never happened.
*
I was also wrong to imply that the PM thinks “top quality whisky doesn't drink
itself” and thus suggesting he is an alcoholic. I have no way of knowing the
truth about this so I should not have speculated to begin with.
*
I was very wrong to suggest the PM feels this way in relation to protestors “I
would like to burn them on a pyre fuelled by copies of the BICI report” This
was puerile and badly thought out by me. Not many copies of BICI were printed,
most of them were on USB memory sticks in electronic PDF format. So not easily
combustible. Again, factually, I was
wrong.
All
the above insults, and more, that I now regret, can be read here:
*
Next, I’m also sorry for changing the lyrics to the 80s song “Hello”, as an ode
from torturers to opposition members, to say things like
I've
been alone with you
|
Inside
your cell
|
And
in my dreams, I've cracked my whips
|
a
thousand times
|
Sometimes
you see us gas
|
inside
your door!
|
See
the rest of this shameful ode here
*
I also regret making fun of the serious steps taken to resolve the crisis in
Bahrain through the national dialogue process. I’m sorry I published this fake
agenda:
*
Not happy with this depravity, I then played on the notion that the government
of Bahrain uses Iran as their scapegoat. This was unfair and I regret I ever
made this flowchart
*
I wish I had stopped there. But this sickness made me spew out even more hate.
I feel I hit rock bottom when I released a video on Youtube about Adolf Hitler,
representing utter oppression and total evil, where he is upset that Khalifa
bin Salman, unelected PM , is the
longest serving PM in the world. I apologise for this slur on the PM’s
reputation. Being unelected is not a problem if the person is loved. Which the
PM is. So what.
See
the deplorable video, here in English
or
in Arabic if you like
*
But oh no. I still couldn’t stop there. I made more Hitler parodies: topics
like Sheikh Nasser’s stupidity, denying entry visas to reporters, jailing of
Zainab AlKhawaja (two videos, I know, I’m sick, even though she’s blocked me on
twitter) and the siege of Aleker. All of my disloyal performances can be seen
here
*
And when I felt less evil, I’d go and photoshop photos of his highness and the
rest of his crew:
*
And of course to top off this sad, disgusting display of no class or loyalty,
there are all those tweets I’ve been sending out daily for 2 ½ years:
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