Sunday 6 April 2014

Royal cables: A guide for the uninitiated


















I know it can be very difficult to keep track of royal cables. Who thanked who, when, for what etc etc...

So to make life easier for all loyal citizens, here is my guide, based on the example of what happened after the 2014 #Bahrain #F1 race:

1) HRH Khalifa cables Hamad to congratulate him on F1 success. There is no explanation why he did this, since Hamad doesn't do anything.

2) Prompted by (1), Hamad sends a cable of congratulations to the CP on F1 Success. CP is even more perplexed. He thinks his dad must have confused him with race winner Lewis Hamilton, who actually did something.

3) However, excited by getting cable (1), Hamad immediately cables HRH Khalifa to say thanks. Still no one is sure why Hamad deserved the original congratulations.

4) As (3) is going on, the CP sends Hamad a cable of thanks for (2). Because even though he didn't do anything to deserve congratulations, he knows you can’t be rude to your dad.

5) So, HRH Khalifa having been out of action since (1), sends a cable of congratulations to the CP. Undeserving, as he thinks, the CP is of any actual praise.

6) Needless to say, the CP quickly cables HRH Khalifa back with a thank you. Doesn't want to risk the old man holding a grudge against him. No one wants a repeat of the mess they got into after of 2011 Pearl Roundabout debacle.


7) Finally, hearing about (1) to (6) and feeling very left out, Speaker Al Dhahrani sends cables to anyone and everyone.







































































Wednesday 2 April 2014

John Lennon's "Imagine" as done by HRH Khalifa



Imagine there is no Shiia
It's easy if they die
No demands made of us
Above us no Chopper Guy
Imagine all the Sunnah
Loving the Royalty
Imagine there's no villages
No need for curfews
Nothing to teargas or aim for
And no opposition, too
Hail all loyal people
Living life in Rifaa
You may say I'm a stealer
But I'm not the only one
I hope that someday none of us
Will have to leave this throne
Imagine no prosecutions
No tunnels to I-ran
No paying  a dinar for a harbor 
or a Jawad store to ban
Imagine all of Muharraq
Shiia not allowed to build
You may say I'm a stealer
and my wisdom only a con
I hope someday Al-Khalifas
Will take your money and run